Deck Us All

I’m in fine fettle this evening, in a holiday spirit if you will. Had an excellent teaching session with the small group at Mandal Tov (which, as my sister points out, sounds a lot like Mazel Tov), followed by a delicious lunch with my translator Gunji. Afterward, I enjoyed long-delayed success in locating drain opener for my stubbornly clogged bathtub. This quest put me in Don Croner’s neighborhood. Paying him a late afternoon visit garnered rich rewards. He treated me to 38-year old Pu-ehr tea. His Beijing purveyor had gifted him with 50 free grams. That’s no small gift; this precious tea retails for $700 a kilo! It was remarkably delicious, and paired with a mound of golden raisins dried from Thompson seedless grapes grown in the Turpan region of northwest China – the most productive grape-growing region in the world. I also brought some hazelnut cookies. Don didn’t touch ‘em, so I ate ‘em all.

On the way to his place I completed a project I’d been working on for the last several days. Mongolia is good for a surreal experience at least once a month or so. This month it has been watching the creeping festoonment, kudzu-like, of all of the public spaces with…Christmas decorations. In a country where 95% of the people don’t celebrate Christmas. I needed to know why.

Batbold declared that Mongols simply didn’t differentiate between the Xmas decorations and gussying up for the New Year (heck, Santa might show up in July!), the marking of which is a major party. Gunji said, well, there is a bit of hangover from the time the Russians were here. They had their way of presenting Santa Claus, including, she told me, the inclusion of his female offspring, the Snow Daughter. Shoot, if I’d known about her when I was young, I’d have made much more of an effort to lay off the naughtiness.

But now the Russians are gone, for the most part, but the Mongols persist in decking their halls in…a totally Mongol way, and the only way to tell you is to show you.

Oh – funniest thing. I’m sitting with Batbayar, the head of the Mandala Buddhist Center, when his cell phone goes off – to the tune of “God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen”! I’ve also heard a “Feliz Navidad” ringtone at the local buuz joint. Batbayar, by the way, came in during my teaching to give me a gift, he said, “for giving the teachings of enlightenment.” It was a beautiful wool upper robe, “to keep the chill off.” I love that guy.

Anyway, to the photos. First, we have the street entrepreneurs, who are some pretty tough characters. It’s not getting much out of the single digits during the day. Garlands are big and enthusiastically applied (dig the billboard for meat in the background), as are tinsel, paper snowflakes, and garish Santa images, some intertwined with good ol’ American commerce:

Then there are the trees. Given the miniscule amount of forest here, Mongolian law doesn’t allow real trees to be cut and sold. So fake trees of every imaginable permutation are cropping up everywhere. Next to the State Department Store is a temporary tree emporium overseen by no fewer than three Mongol Santas. None of whom seem particularly thrilled with the gig:

The front entrance to Ikh Delguur, as Mongols know the SDS, was one of the first sites to sport a big tree. The decorations are high to discourage five-finger discounts (another tree in a local shop was decorated with tugrig notes -- held firmly in place with scoth tape!). But the funniest thing had nothing really to do with the tree. Earlier this year, across the road, the store erected a JumboTron video screen blaring everything from live Sumo Wrestling from Japan, to Beyonce Pepsi commercials, to ads for its own stuff. In taking the photos, I noticed it was reflected in the store windows, and just happened to catch a hilarious juxtaposition just as they were hawking the fantastic new Monel toilet -- actually, that's a bidet, isn't it? Somehow that's even funnier:

But the real stunner was inside the store. Someone had told me about this, but I couldn’t believe it was as she described. But it was, and worse. Behold the holiday special on Astro-brite Xmas trees. Big ones’ll set you back 150 bucks. In the back left you can see the store security guard stalking my way to insist I stop snapping pics of their special display. I might be from a competitor:

Out on the street, Santa showed up, though it looks like he had a rather hellish re-entry. Lost six of eight reindeer, got a face full of his own afterburner, and crashed right into a tinsel display. Still, he’s enough of a pro to keep waving. By happy coincidence, Gunjimaa gives us a smile right behind him:

Finally, a banner at a children’s clothing store in my neighborhood got a little Santa reworking, though I’m not 100% sure it achieved the effect they intended. Spooked me a little, frankly:

But, in general, I really love Mongol exuberance – it appears but rarely, but then it really appears. So Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Comments

[Julie]

Those are fantastic pictures - love the Astro-brite trees! I also love the phrase "creeping festoonment," which I am going to try to work into all conversations from now on. :)

[Ma]

I haven't stopped laughing yet! One of your funniest blogs ever. I'll be sure all your B'boro fans read it! Ma

[Pixie]

Great blog and pics! What amuses me most about them is that, but for the language on the signs, those shots could have been taken Down Hackney High Street in East London!
Its fair to say that I too live in a country where 95% of the population dont celebrate christmas (in the religious sense) and yet every shop plays carols (country and western stylee in one I blundered into...my ears, my ears!). Bedecked and baubled trees, sit dying quietly in pots, and tinsel appears everywhere like bindweed...
You can tell Im digging the christmas vibe cant you ;-)

Anyone want a humbug?
XXPixieXX

[Konchog]

Ma -- Thanks! Your check's in the mail.

Pixie -- Don't y'all "keep Christmas"?

[Pixie]

Konchoq -- as a nation or me individually?

XXPixieXX

[minnie]

at least those trees were colorful. i saw a black one at borders the other day. sheesh! is that for goths?

[Gretchen]

Wondering when we should send Konchog a ice scrapper????