Well, I’ll be dipped and deep-fried. The Encyclopedia Brownie troop among the DODR readers regarded the splayed photos of Floki in the previous post, whipped out their magnifying glasses, and declared in the comments that this is not a boy dog ‘tall, as I’ve been claiming all along, but distinctly 100%, Grade A female. They cited as their evidence the lack of a weewee.
“Balderdash!” I thundered, thinking I was defending Floki against a pernicious tide of emasculation. “Why, just look. He has a…protrusion. I mean, nothing that’s gonna get him into Playdog, but his whole hind end is underdeveloped. You leave my boy alone!”
“Silly monk,” they countered, patting my knee in a most matronizing way, “we know weewees and that ain’t no weewee. Plus that li’l girlie twig’s got no berries.”
I sputtered and blustered but secretly called Floki over and plopped him/her upside down on my lap for a mid-morning inspection.
I’m just gobsmacked, and as I said in the comments, I think I have to concede the point pending vet confirmation at the end of this week. Floki may very well be a Flokina! (Vedran – is “Floki” gender-specific in Croatian? If so, what’s the feminine?)
I hereby proclaim Norma, Phyllis, Sarah, et al, to be honorary members of the Canine Gender Identification Reclamation League (C-GIRL). Now my main worry is whether I’ll be liable for subsidizing future doggie therapist bills, since thus far Floki’s toilet training has consisted of me shouting, “Good boy! What a good boy!” upon each successful elimination on the newspaper.
Update: Cuzzin Ryan leaps onto the dogpile with the following email: "Need I say I wouldn't put too much in his...er...her being a 100% St. Bernard now? Personally, I think she's a black lab. Or a shar pei. There is also a possibility that she's not even a dog, in which case I vote for gerbil. Or maybe cockatoo. Oh, no definitely NOT a cockatoo (snicker). Maybe a cheetah? Or an elephant? All bets are off now."
Har de har har. Maybe I'll just cut my comedian relatives out of my estate! Um, wait, that's not really much of a threat from a Buddhist monk, is it? Hang on, give me a second...