Perfection of Genderosity
Well, I’ll be dipped and deep-fried. The Encyclopedia Brownie troop among the DODR readers regarded the splayed photos of Floki in the previous post, whipped out their magnifying glasses, and declared in the comments that this is not a boy dog ‘tall, as I’ve been claiming all along, but distinctly 100%, Grade A female. They cited as their evidence the lack of a weewee.
“Balderdash!” I thundered, thinking I was defending Floki against a pernicious tide of emasculation. “Why, just look. He has a…protrusion. I mean, nothing that’s gonna get him into Playdog, but his whole hind end is underdeveloped. You leave my boy alone!”
“Silly monk,” they countered, patting my knee in a most matronizing way, “we know weewees and that ain’t no weewee. Plus that li’l girlie twig’s got no berries.”
I sputtered and blustered but secretly called Floki over and plopped him/her upside down on my lap for a mid-morning inspection.
Um…hmm. Ruh-roh.
I’m just gobsmacked, and as I said in the comments, I think I have to concede the point pending vet confirmation at the end of this week. Floki may very well be a Flokina! (Vedran – is “Floki” gender-specific in Croatian? If so, what’s the feminine?)
I hereby proclaim Norma, Phyllis, Sarah, et al, to be honorary members of the Canine Gender Identification Reclamation League (C-GIRL). Now my main worry is whether I’ll be liable for subsidizing future doggie therapist bills, since thus far Floki’s toilet training has consisted of me shouting, “Good boy! What a good boy!” upon each successful elimination on the newspaper.
Update: Cuzzin Ryan leaps onto the dogpile with the following email: "Need I say I wouldn't put too much in his...er...her being a 100% St. Bernard now? Personally, I think she's a black lab. Or a shar pei. There is also a possibility that she's not even a dog, in which case I vote for gerbil. Or maybe cockatoo. Oh, no definitely NOT a cockatoo (snicker). Maybe a cheetah? Or an elephant? All bets are off now."
Har de har har. Maybe I'll just cut my comedian relatives out of my estate! Um, wait, that's not really much of a threat from a Buddhist monk, is it? Hang on, give me a second...
Literally, LOL! Flipping hysterical! I needed this laugh this morning! Thanks for bungling this gender i.d!
Posted by: sean | January 31, 2007 at 06:32 AM
Nah, no therapy for Floki - she knows you're crazy about her! I'll bet Mooj knew, though. You'll have to demand to know why he didn't say anything on the subject... :)
Posted by: Julie | January 31, 2007 at 08:45 AM
No worries--Floki was pegging off the enthusiasm and excitement and praise TONE of your voice, primarily, so she will be unscarred. She will learn words and learn to spell (T-R-E-A-T), but tone is more important.
Of course, we won't mention how LONG I looked at those pictures going "woogie, woogie, woogie" before my brain kicked in and said "...um, 'scusa, WHERE are the boy bits."
:)
Posted by: Phyllis | January 31, 2007 at 09:18 AM
Ummm ... and your vet didn't notice this?! Well, I didn't either, so I'm not gonna laugh at anybody!
Posted by: KayInNewMexico | January 31, 2007 at 09:22 AM
Floki is specific for male dogs. I'v seen somewhere doggyhouse with name Floka on it. That would be female version of that name if you like it. If not maybe Dashenka? That's my favorite female doggy name. In any case he/she will spend his/her days in Mongolia so might as well stay Floki. I'm sure no one will be confused. And you Konchog will have a very funny story to tell!
Howcome your previous visits to vet didn't reveal it's true gender?
Posted by: Vedran | January 31, 2007 at 09:53 AM
Funny! Add an 'e' to the end to change the male spelling-Flokie.she won't care. Welcome to the joys and surprises of parenthood. Pets love unconditional, and you got hers/his no matter what!
Oh, isn't deep fried Monk one of those anti vegan dishes?LOL!cw
Posted by: cyndie | January 31, 2007 at 10:18 AM
I think Floki is just playing with you. She changed her sex as a joke. She may change back at any moment!
Posted by: Palzang | January 31, 2007 at 11:47 AM
Well, sorry to have to repeat this, but: for a smart kid you're pretty dumb! Even without a microscope, I had my suspicions---- Guess my efforts at sex education were a notable failure!
Posted by: Ma | January 31, 2007 at 01:30 PM
Just goes to show you -- gender neutral is perfectly ok, TOO. You loved her/him unconditionally, and she you, so all is well with the universe. Mwah!
Posted by: Norma | January 31, 2007 at 02:27 PM
Boy, you know you've really stepped in it when your own mother chimes in to goof on you!
Posted by: Konchog | January 31, 2007 at 06:46 PM
Ok.
After just finishing this subject in health, I am completely speechless.
I like toast.
Hehe.
Posted by: Crazy Nephew | January 31, 2007 at 07:01 PM
Hey! You're not allowed to read about weewees and notweewees until you're 13! And try to be nice to your sister on her birthday tomorrow. Make her some toast.
Posted by: Konchog | January 31, 2007 at 07:21 PM
OK - I was just giggling at this until Ma and Crazy Nephew chimed in -- now I am really glad I swallowed that tea before I read their comments - tea and laptops don't go well together...
You all are braver than me Norma, Phylis, Sarah - I thought she was a she but didn't post it --- but I was wondering just how long you HAD been a monk - maybe longer than I had been under the impression. :D
Posted by: rho1640 | January 31, 2007 at 09:37 PM
I just scanned through Feb and March of 2005. Thanks for pointing me in that direction. I hope to come back and read more carefully.
AS for your mom's quote about being a smart kid (with a qualifier), that sounds amazingly familiar! Where could I have heard that before? Oh, it doesn't really matter, I guess.
Is there a correlation between the Mongolian and the Bulgarian alphabets? From a few of the posts, I suspect there may be a common history. The question comes up because a Bulgarian student came to our school mid-December. He's learning at an amazing rate, in spite of the fact that NO ONE seems to be able to locate a translator for him, even for a day. There may be a family member in his home who speaks partial English, but it's uncertain.
In So Cal, we're complaining about heading into another week that will not see 60 degrees Fa. Yes, that's in the positive, of course. I'm attempting not to be one of those complainers, with highly limited success.
Did you ever go back to the museum for war atrocites? (Sorry, having a hard time remembering what you called it, and I still have work to wrap up tonight. Procrastinator.) It was the one with the skulls bearing bullet marks on the tops of the skulls. I was wondering if you were now able to read the info cards that were written in Mongolian. One of my treats in my resolution to read in Spanish to revisit some of the first things that I read in the language. It's a real refresher and a motivator to see how easily I can read them now, in comparison to the first time. In time, my current book, "Sandokan" may look easy, I hope. Right now, I have to look up about one word per 2-3 sentences. Slow going!
Posted by: Sarabaite | January 31, 2007 at 11:01 PM
Okay, the boy/girl thing is too funny! Are you sure you can give her up when she's grown? I do know that some large dogs can do quite well in apartments as they are not "high energy" dogs. I have no idea if a St. Bernard is one of them tho'... maybe one of the dog people that read your blog could help?
Posted by: Carol | January 31, 2007 at 11:17 PM
Oh, for the love of......
Posted by: marylee | February 01, 2007 at 05:49 AM
When I had cat, years ago. I allways hoped that she gives birth to female kittens because logically female kittens grow up and give birth to more cats. I simply could not understand why people, including my parents did not appreciate that fact.
Hello Sarabaite- Bulgarian language is very similar to Macedonian if there's no Bulgarian translator maybe Macedonian could help your student?
Posted by: Vedran | February 01, 2007 at 08:57 AM
...well, not Pete, marylee, I can tell you that!
Posted by: Konchog | February 01, 2007 at 09:23 AM
I like your dogs name there is nothing wrong with it......and this coming from a gurl whose cat is named PUPPY!!!!!!!!!! HAHA!!!!!!!! G
Posted by: Gretchen | February 01, 2007 at 11:43 AM
Sarabaite--The Mongolian use of Cyrillic is the fault of the Soviets. So, while, of course, it is related to Bulgarian, it is the Russian alphabet plus a couple of letters.
Posted by: Kristen | February 01, 2007 at 12:58 PM
I can give you veterinary confirmation right now. Unless there are some very deformed genitalia there that I just can't see from the photo, Floki's a girl. Nipples, of course, are not a giveaway, as boy's have those, too.
On the matter of gender confusion, one time in North Carolina, I saw a pug puppy who had been purchased as a female. When I looked, however, something was not quite right. It turned out that what had been taken for female genitalia was actually a very improperly developed penis - a fairly rare occurrence called hypospadias. I explained this to the owners - a rather, um, backwoods family - and the (adult) daughter looked at the dog and exclaimed, "Pugsey, you a SHIM!"
Posted by: Mel | February 01, 2007 at 02:43 PM
Not Pete. Definitely not Pete.
You *completely* crack me up.
Posted by: Lee Ann | February 01, 2007 at 03:36 PM
Enjoyed reading the post (came via Norma's blog) and have enjoyed reading the comments just as much.
I'm normally good at "sexing" animals, but years ago I got a kitten from friends, and just trusted them when they told me it was a male..........and was quite surprised when it suddenly gained a lot of weight. Needless to say, I checked every one of those kittens..........and every animal since. hehe
Posted by: Sue | February 01, 2007 at 04:08 PM
My cat's fixed. I checked.
Posted by: Crazy Nephew | February 02, 2007 at 06:56 AM
BOY cat.
Posted by: Crazy Nephew | February 02, 2007 at 06:57 AM
Thanks, Vedran and Kristen, for filling me in on Language History. I may not be able to locate a translator, for either Bulgarian or Macedonian, but it's a nice thing to know.
Posted by: Sarabaite | February 04, 2007 at 06:38 PM