In The Words of my Perfect Teacher, Patrul Rinpoche writes:
"Anything you can do physically, verbally or mentally to help your own parents, especially, or those suffering from chronic ill health, will bring inconceivable benefits. Jowo Atisha says:
'To be kind to those who have come from afar, to those who have been ill for a long time, or to our parents in their old age, is equivalent to meditating on emptiness of which compassion is the very essence.'
"Our parents have shown us such immense love and kindness that to upset them in their old age would be an extremely negative act. The Buddha himself, to repay his mother's kindness, went to the Heaven of the Thirty-three to teach her the Dharma. It is said that even if we were to serve our parents by carrying them around the whole world on our shoulders, it would still not repay their kindness. However, we can repay that kindness by introducing them to the Buddha's teaching. So always serve your parents in thought, word and deed, and try to find ways to bring them to the Dharma.
The Great Master of Uddiyana said, 'Do not make old people distressed; look after them with care and respect.'
In whatever you say and do, be kind to all those older than you. Take care of them and do whatever you can to please them."
Also:
"The image given for boundless love is a mother bird taking care of her chicks. She starts by making a soft, comfortable nest. She shelters them with her wings, keeping them warm. She is always gentle with them and she protects them until they can fly away. Like that mother bird, learn to be kind in thought, word and deed to all beings in the three worlds...
"The image given for boundless sympathetic joy is that of a mother camel finding her lost baby. Of all animals, camels are considered the most affectionate mothers. If a mother camel loses her baby her sorrow is correspondingly intense. But when she finds it again her joy knows no bounds. This is the kind of sympathetic joy you should try to develop...
"The image given for meditating on compassion is that of a mother with no arms, whose child is being swept away by a river. How unbearable the anguish of such a mother would be. Her love for her child is so intense, but as she cannot use her arms, she cannot catch hold of him.
" 'What can I do? What can I do?' she asks herself. Her only thought is to find some means of saving him. Her heart breaking, she runs along after him, weeping.
"In exactly the same way, all beings of the three worlds are being carried away by the river of suffering to drown in the ocean of samsara. However unbearable the compassion we feel, we have no means of saving them from their suffering. Meditate on this, thinking, 'What can I do?' and call on your teacher and the Three Jewels from the depth of your heart."
Happy birthday, Ma, with all my love. I re-read what I wrote last year and I meant every word.
How sweet...
In my case, I had to ask permission to my master to change the line in the bodhicitta vow from "parents" to "brothers.", in a Christian fashion (if I may say:) Since I have no brother, I have no bad brother.
I tend to think, maybe as a Westerner, that a mother _must_ take care of her child, that, if she does so, it is not out of compassion but out of duty. And love. And unspoken neurotic impulses, of course. All this is the bottom line.
In Korea, the inconditional respect to the parents can be seen in every household. One can also witness the emotional damages this blind obedience brings too often to many sons and daughters, even after their marriage.
This Buddhist emphasis on parents as a model of compassion may be deeply connected to Asian cultures.
Anyway, it was a touching post.
Posted by: Christian | June 20, 2006 at 07:06 AM
Your words today were meant for me, I think. My 90-year-old mother recently came to live with us; we are close and love each other and are good friends, but there has been inevitable stress. Who would have expected that wonderful words would come from Mongolia to lift me up? A special blessing on you for your message!
Posted by: KayInNewMexico | June 20, 2006 at 09:21 AM
Well! Lookit that. My mother has a birthday and *I* get a gift! Thank you, Kay. Your comment made my whole day. I'm curious -- did you just happen upon this post or have you been reading DODR for a while? Your comment works perfectly with the previous post as well!
Posted by: Konchog | June 20, 2006 at 10:30 AM
Dear Jo - Konchog's mother, and my Dharma sister - in this very round about way, I send you many birthday wishes from Dakini Valley!
May you come and visit!
Ani Kunzang
Posted by: Ani Kunzang | June 20, 2006 at 08:54 PM
My dear, we are all gifts to each other, but we just don't recognize it most of the time!
I am a regular reader -- through the friend who first told me about the Dulaan Project (www.knittingbrow.com; I sent my Dulaan contributions through him), who led me to kniterati, who led me to you. Life is good!
Posted by: KayInNewMexico | June 21, 2006 at 01:09 PM